Insecure Writer's Support Group Day!

Yes people, it's the first Wednesday of the month!  You know what that means... (if not, it's IWSG day, started by the awesome Alex J. Cavanaugh :)

So let's see.  What am I insecure about?

I could talk to you about querying, because I am terrible at writing query letters.  Then again, I've already sorta written two posts about that.

What else?

My sequel.

Yeah, sure I already finished The Inferiors (book 2 of my trilogy), but I just started editing it.  And by the stars*, I've got a ton of work to do.  There's so much I need to add.

And, I have no idea how to go about this.

The Inferiors could go one of two ways.  Either my characters will go rescue   (person you can't know about yet)   or they can go find more about the   (thing you'd only know about if you've read it)  .  Currently, I have them rescuing   (person you can't know about yet)  , but by that time, will the reader be fed up about not knowing about the   (thing you'd only know about if you've read it)  ?

It's good to keep the reader wanting more, but will I have them wanting so much they decide to give up on me?

I'm in a big mess.

Luckily, I get out of school on Friday, so I'll have an entire summer to figure this problem out.

So... what are you're insecurities?  Have you guys had the same issue I've had with my sequel?

Happy Wednesday :)

--Jess

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*That's an expression my characters use... lol.

First Query Letter... Ever.

Today, I sent off my first query letter.

It was probably the scariest and most exciting thing I'd ever done.

I had her email address in the "Send To" box, and the words Query Letter as the title, but I still wasn't ready.

I switched back to my query letter and read it.

Cut out a 'that'.

Then I read it again.

Reworded a sentence.

Then read it again.

My fingers started to tremble, because I was running out of things I knew how to fix.  And I knew that once I couldn't find anything wrong, I'd have to send it.

I asked my mom to read over it.

Changed another sentence.

When my mom said it was good, I nodded and pasted my query into the email.

Read over it again.

Everything was fine.

I was done.

And being 'done' scared the crap out of me.  I'd never been done before.  Done with a draft, but never like... done. Finished.  The End.

I moused over the 'send' button, but something held me back.  I touched the 'left click' button on the mouse, but couldn't press it.  There had to be something I was missing.

After reading over it ONE. MORE. TIME. I decided I had to go for it.

I took a deep breath and got ready to press it again.

No, actually, I took a deep breath, crossed my fingers, crossed my toes, my legs and my arms and shut my eyes.

Carefully, I pressed it.

But I didn't let go.  I held it down, knowing the moment I picked up my finger, it would be sent.

Then of course, my mom came over and lifted up my hand from my computer.

Message sent.

I spent about an hour trying to stay calm after that.  I'd start cracking up randomly and then feel a little queasy.  Finally, I settled down and was pretty much okay.

How do you guys feel about sending out query letters?  Do you get nervous?


Have an awesome weekend!

--Jess

Things I Fear

I have the weirdest irrational fears.

Well, I guess they're not all irrational.  But I feel like they are.

For instance: I'm scared of being completely alone.

Like last week, my mom and two siblings all went to the store together and I decided to stay home so I could write.  But the kitchen started making really weird noises and the dishwasher creeped me out.  I had to turn on my music at top volume to drown out my fears.

Another example:  Grammar Tests.

I should mention (you'd know if you've beta read for me) I don't have very good grammar.  Actually, that might not be entirely true.  I can tell when a sentence is written wrong.  Like, I'd never say "Were going into the Trials today.  Its going to be difficult.  They is going to win."

Grammar that bad just makes me shiver.  Yuck.

Not to mention, those are probably just about the three most boring sentences I've ever written.

But sometimes, here and there throughout my book, as my fingers type in perfect rhythm with my train of thought, sometimes I forget an apostrophe.  Or add an extra comma.  Or add in a poorly constructed sentence so I can hurry it up and move on to the next one.

The thing in grammar that scares me the most is all those words.

Yeah.  I'm a writer.  Words should be the LEAST of my fears.

But when I come across something like this:  "Name the direct object that's modified by the first adjective that comes before the predicate nominative and the antecedent."

 I have no clue what the heck that means.

That sentence probably doesn't actually mean anything.  That's just what all the questions sound like to me.

(Yes, this is my actual grammar textbook I've been using this year.)

What are you guys afraid of?  Do you have an irrational fear of grammar?

--Jess

P.S.

For this entire post, I kept spelling 'grammar' as 'grammer'.  Yes, with an 'e'.  Maybe I should add that I have the irrational fear of spelling too?