H is for Hunger

H is for Hunger

The emptiness grows.

They said that over time it would fade, but they lied. The longer I wait, the worse it gets. Like a bottomless pit that continues to grow deeper. An aching pain I cannot destroy. It hurts to the point of madness.

Soon, I shall no longer be starving.

Soon, I’ll have revenge.

***

During the process of editing The Trials, I've had a few troubles with my antagonist. So, today, my flash fic is dedicated to him. So yeah, he's really out for revenge.

Anyway, as for the song, I was having lots of trouble finding one that went with Hunger so I kind of just picked one that was kind of like my character. Although, my MC doesn't like him at all, so it doesn't really go with the song, but it was the best I could come up with.

Okay! I'm pretty sure you've heard enough of my rambling, so here's the song Frozen by Madonna:

You can go here for the official music video, which I think is pretty cool, too!

Have a really Happy day!

--Jess

Sacrifices

No, don't worry. I'm not talking about food or animal sacrifices or anything. (Unless you're trying to impress the writing gods or something...)

We all have to make sacrifices to get our writing done. But it can really be hard sometimes. For this entire week, I've been trying so hard to meet my goal of finishing my entire book on the 10th of December, but as tomorrow swiftly approaches, I just don't see how I can possibly edit thirteen more chapters tonight.


I'm still trying to figure out what I did wrong. I've sacrificed so much time this week for my writing! Okay, maybe I didn't wake up as early as I planned to every day, but I did a lot of other stuff. I stayed up late to get my work done. I didn't go to the movie theater last Sunday with my mom, sister and dad! I even skipped watching two episodes of the TV show Glee to get my writing done! (I couldn't resist watching the most current episode of Star Wars the Clone Wars with my brother, though...)


So, maybe I set too big of a goal for myself. Or maybe I just didn't execute my 'plan' correctly. Or maybe it was just a bad writing week. It sounds silly, but some days when I'm practicing my violin it's just randomly worse than other days. Same thing with skating. Some days I'm really focused, and other days, I completely lose my balance doing simple things.


It's easy to get discouraged when no matter what you do, you feel like you won't finish soon enough, or won't get good things written down. But, I've found that going around and feeling sorry for yourself isn't the way to get what you want done, done. Trust me, I've tried it.


Luckily, I happen to be in a very good writing mood today, so even if I don't finish on the tenth exactly, maybe I could extend my deadline to the end of the weekend or maybe even Monday. Either way, I've still got a lot of work to get done, so I should get back to it.


What are you guys planning for the weekend?


--Jess

NaNoWriMo Day 11

First of all, I have to say that it's 11/11/11. November 11, 2011. This kind of day only comes around once every hundred years, so enjoy it!


Anyway, here's my NaNo Status Check:


GOAL: 50,000
TOTAL WORDS WRITTEN: 20,000
WORDS REMAINING: 30,000
DAYS REMAINING: 20
MOOD: A little stuck, but getting through


I'm pretty excited that I'm already 20,000 words through my sequel, but I'm a little stuck. I'm all caught up with my skeleton (my extremely detailed sketch), and when I was writing more of it, I got completely stuck. I've had the overall story planned out in my head for some time, but I'm not entirely sure how to get to the end!


As I was writing, I started to feel like some of the conversations were pointless. I started to see that I had already written things that I'd need to cut out. And it kind of hit me that I might not be moving the story along fast enough.


Of course, I'll never give up hope with my writing, but I hit that point that point that makes you wonder who is really going to care. Is my story interesting enough? Is it too cliched? What am I doing right? What am I doing wrong?


It's hard to push your doubts aside. It's hard to ignore that inner voice that begs for a reply. But all in all, I wouldn't be able to turn back even if I wanted to. I already wrote a novel. I've passed the point of no return.


The point is a cliched point of course. But it's a cliche that we tend to forget. The point is that we are doing this because we love it. In the end, it's really doesn't matter who loves what you write, or who doesn't love what you write.


So on that note, I better get back to work!


--Jess

Uninspiring Weekend

*WARNING: This post was written while the author was feeling a little sorry for herself.


First of all, let me just say, I've been really bad. I've hardly checked anyone else's blog this week or last week and when I have I've had to just skim through everything! I'm finally almost all caught up in school work (after the move and everything it was kind of hard to keep up,), I've got to keep editing, and I'm writing my NaNo novel. So, I apologize for not keeping up with you guys!


Anyway, the weekend was crazy for me. I think everyone else enjoyed it, pretty much because all we did was have fun all of Saturday. And having fun is fine with me as long as it includes writing, but really. It's November. And I've got a ton of work to do. I'm just happy my 'work' is writing, so it's fun. But still, there's a lot of it to do.


We were out and about all Saturday. I had skating all morning, then got home at about noon. I got a few minutes to write and I was getting all kinds of ideas! I was on a roll! Of course, a few minutes into my session, my dad wants to go to the zoo.


Now, I'm not really sure what to think about zoos. I really don't like seeing animals all locked up like that, pacing back and forth and bored out of their minds. But, I also think it's important for kids (and people in general) to be able to see animals that they probably wouldn't ever see out in the wild. I think it gives people a certain respect for nature. So, my theory is, as long as I'm not contributing directly to caging up those poor animals (as in paying the zoo for tickets and such) then I shouldn't have too much to worry about.


So we drove forty five minutes to the zoo, bought the tickets and went in. We stayed there until about four o'clock and by then my feet were hurting and I was in a pretty bad mood. I had two entire novels waiting for me, begging for my attention and there was nothing in the entire universe (at that moment anyway) that I could do about it.


And just as I thought the hopeless 'no writing' hours of the day would be over, just as I thought we were going to go home and I'd finally be able to sit at my computer and write for the rest of the hours of the night, my dad reminded us that we still had to go to the outlet mall.


Wonderful. Just wonderful.


You can pretty much guess how the rest of the night went. By the time we got home, I was so tired and uninspired that we just watched the movie The Black Swan then a few episodes of Gilligan's Island then went to bed.


My family kept asking me why I didn't want to have any fun for the whole day. But the problem wasn't not having fun for me! WRITING is fun for me! It's work too, but completely awesome work!


Anyway, how was your weekend?


--Jess

Starting a Novel

STATUS CHECK:


GOAL: 50,000
TOTAL WORDS WRITTEN: 2,240
WORDS REMAINING:47,760
DAYS REMAINING: 29
MOOD: Completely Confident


Well, seeing that yesterday was the first day in NaNo, starting off with a total of 2,240 words isn't too bad. And in that 2,240 words, I have officially completed my first draft of my first chapter! Yahoo!


Starting a novel can often be hard. I swear, I wrote and rewrote the first line and paragraph about twenty times before it started to sound like what I wanted to say. In my flash fiction pieces for the Campaign, making a good hook wasn't too hard because, I only had to carry on the story for another 250-300 words. In a novel, you're obviously keeping it going for much, much longer.


And then of course, there's always those writerly doubts. Especially coming from editing my book 1, I've gotten used to being extremely critical of my work. And I guess that's okay, but to get anything new done, I've really got to accept that it's not going to sound perfect. I've just got to move on to the next passage.


So how do you start a novel?


I say you've just got to begin. You can't keep thinking that your first line will sound better if you change it one more time. (Even though it probably will). Get what you need to get down then move on. This is only the first draft, after all.


So how was your first NaNo day? And for those of you not doing NaNo, whatchya workin on?


(Getting back to writing now!)


--Jess

NaNoWriMo is Here!

Hey everyone! I'm super excited right now because... NaNoWriMo is here!! My username is just Jessica McKendry so if you want to become my writing buddy click HERE or look me up!


Okay, I should really get to work now!


Happy writing!


--Jess

The Early Works!

Today, I am participating in the lovely Julie's Early Works Blogfest! The idea is to talk about the first stories or pieces of writing you ever wrote. So, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

When I was six years old, I wrote my first story called The Dragon and the Rose. It was about a princess who was very rebellious. One day, she met a prince and they both fell in love. Unfortunately, a dragon didn't like the fact that the prince and princess were in love, so it stole the princess and the prince had to save her. And of course, all ended happily! (I was six, remember so hopefully I've improved since then!)

When I was eight, I decided that I wanted to write an actual novel. I called it, Tale of the Dragon. This story began when all of the dragons in the world were being killed off by people. Only one survived. When the dragon grew up (it was a baby at the beginning of the story) it heard of a place where dragons still existed and lived in peace. So he had to find his way to this other place where more dragons were. (I never finished this one...)

When I was nine I wrote a story about two African sisters who were separated while trying to escape into a different country (or something like that) and they both ended up thinking that the other person didn't survive. At the end they finally found each other and were happy.

And finally, when I was twelve, I wrote a story about a dragon (I know, I was extremely obsessed with dragons!) who got lost from his world. He had the power to create peace wherever he went but when he landed on the Earth and saw the chaos, he decided to hide. For hundreds of years he waited for it to end, but it never did. Finally he emerged from his cave and tried to make peace. But no one would listen. When he was about to give up, he met a little girl who had lost her parents in a war. She wasn't angry, or remorseful though and she gave him hope that someday the world would be at peace.

Voila!

Those are all of the 'long' stories I wrote. And the funny thing is, all but one had something to do with Dragons. The weirdest part is, (I swear this is completely coincidental), the main boy character in my current W.I.P. is nicknamed Dragon. Strange name, I know, but hopefully it works.

I guess I could never really get over my childhood fascination with that mythical creature.

So what were your early works? You can share in the comment box or just go over to the Early Works Blogfest page and join! (On that page it says the day to finish by is October 14th, but that's been extended to the 28th. So no worries!)

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!!

--Jess

NaNoWriMo... Let's Prepare (Pay it Forward)

NaNoWriMo is coming in less than twenty days and I can't believe how excited I am! Last year was the first year I did NaNoWriMo. To be honest, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. And now that I think back on it, I started my novel (which sparked me to write the rest of the story, start a blog, and become a writer) because of NaNoWriMo. Of course, I just started it to have some fun. I didn't know it was going to turn into an entire story.


Anyway, for the past few days I've been contemplating what to write for it. I've got tons and tons of ideas I could be using for NaNoWriMo but what the heck am I actually going to write for it? Starting a whole new novel is a little scary since I've only written one so far.


I'm considering writing my sequel. Because, the only reason I split my story into 2+ books is because the entire story in my head was too long. Not writing book two right away feels like stopping in the middle of drafting to me because the story isn't complete without the rest of it.


So because or despite your helpful advice, I'm just going to write what feels right. I'm going with book two. I know you're supposed to start a new book for it, so hopefully this isn't cheating. I'm still a little nervous though. Can I keep up with two parts of the same story at once? Will I be disappointed with the results? I guess we'll have to find out!


You're doing NaNoWriMo, right? What are your plans for the National November Novel Writing Month?


Have a great weekend!


--Jess


P.S.


I can't believe it, I almost forgot! If you haven't been there already, go check out David Powers King's blog because he's having a 400 followers celebration and is giving away books!


And,


I signed up for Matthew MacNish's Pay It Forward Blogfest just now and it's going all today so here are three recently discovered blogs:

1. Lyla Lee
2. Shannon O'Donnell
3. Cortney Pearson

Back In The Blogosphere

Wow, we're finally here and I'm loving the coffee and rain! Hopefully I'm back for good. Well, at least until the month in temporary housing is up, but let's not worry about that right now.


Okay, now to business.


I am exactly halfway done with editing my novel (give or take a chapter)! I can't believe I've already come this far, it's so exciting! I'm struggling to not explode from excitement because we're living in Seattle and because I'm halfway done! (Or maybe thats from the mocha latte I drank earlier...)


Anyway, I'm kind of torn. For the entire way here, we've only had one laptop (I ordered my own yesterday so that shouldn't be a problem anymore). So while my mom was writing on the computer, I really couldn't work on my current story. I was tempted to just watch the TV with my brother and sister, but Food Network doesn't hold my attention for very long. I'm not exactly the 'cooking' type. Besides, I've been feeling in a creative mood all week. The perfect time to write, right?


As of today, I've written down ten to fifteen different story ideas, all of them completely separate from my current novel. Each has about a paragraph of back-story and where I want the story to go. I'm proud of myself for that, but a little overwhelmed. What the heck am I going to do with ten new story ideas?


And that's not all. I've got the first few chapters of my sequel planned out. Like completely planned out. All I've got to do is write it.


So why don't I just go for it?


To be honest, I'm actually afraid for my first book. Am I giving it enough attention? Am I giving it too much attention? Should I start book two or just continue focusing on book one? Or should I take a break from this entire story after finishing my second draft and write something completely different? There are things in book two that would definitely help me edit book one but would I be cheating book one from my undivided attention? Gosh I'm so confused.


Do you guys have any advice? How far along are you in writing/editing a novel when you feel comfortable starting something new? Do you write the sequel right after book one or do you take a break and write something different?


I love hearing what you've got to say!


--Jess


P.S.
I'm trying to come up with a better blogging schedule. I think I'll be posting Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays but we'll see. Thanks for stopping by!

Running Out of Time

Does anyone ever feel like there should be six more hours in a day? Does anyone ever feel like there's too much you've got to do but too little time to do everything? Well then you know exactly how I've been feeling!


When I was little, my mom would remark that she had no time to do anything at all. I would laugh and wonder what the heck she was talking about! Half of the day she didn't look like she was doing anything except staring at the computer screen or helping me with school work (I should have known better!). Only now I have finally discovered what she meant by that.


First of all, I've been trying to read more. During my drafting stage over the summer, I had no time at all to read (it's not like I have more time now...). So every night before bed, I try to squeeze in a chapter or two of my current book, which of course takes away time from everything else I want to be doing.

Second, I've got school. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. I'm home-schooled, so what do I have to worry about? Well, I'm not 'home-schooled' in the traditional sense. The school I'm enrolled in is more of a Online Public School where we've got real teachers and due dates and homework... yeah not so fun. I've got classes running throughout the day and you can't believe how hard it is to stay away from writing!

Third, I've been trying so very hard to get my editing done! But my precious editing time at 5:30am has been taken over by skating now! (Yes, where I live there are freestyles super duper early!) So I'm behind on my editing! (And it didn't help that the previous chapter that I worked on today was terrible!)

And finally, there's those new ideas sloshing around in my head that refuse to leave me alone! Despite how exciting they can be, they are also quite distracting.

The funny thing is, time never used to run so fast. (Maybe I scared it away with how much I'm trying to fit into it...) Anyway, I'm so sorry if I haven't visited you're blog in a while! I'm going to try to catch up with everyone I'm following (sooner or later) but I'll probably only be posting on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday now (maybe poetry on Saturday).

Maybe I'm wrong but time seems to be short for most people these days! What are some things YOU try to cram into your day?


--Jess


P.S.
I changed my blogger template so if things seem different to you don't be alarmed! And also, my birthday is tomorrow so I've got to change all of my ages to 15! Yay!

Be Prepared!

First of all, thanks to all my new followers from the campaign and for all the wonderful comments on my flash fiction post!

Alrighty, with that statement out of the way, I can tell you some exciting news! I have a skating competition tomorrow! (In case you didn't know, yes I'm a figure skater.) I usually don't get nervous until I'm actually at the ice rink, awaiting my turn to be called in front of the judges, but I'm not exactly sure how prepared I am for this one. I've got two jumps in there that I can't land consistently and a spin that doesn't exactly spin very well. So, with that being said, yes, maybe I am a little nervous right now.

Me and Alyss after one of our many competitions!

I'm not really someone that preforms well under pressure either. My knees get a little shaky and I constantly feel like I need to take a trip to the bathroom. Not to mention, the past few weeks I've been much more interested in my writing than in my skating (which I guess isn't a terrible thing because writing is my first favorite thing ever), but it isn't so good if I want to have a winning chance.


So, I'm sure you've made this conclusion already, but no, I'm not exactly prepared for this competition. I've got a little bit of an idea of the people I'll be competing against, but to be honest, I could lose miserably, or take first place. I've got no clue how this is going to play out.


And here comes the catch. Maybe I'm not the most physically prepared person there. But from a mental perspective, I very well could be. Not because I can land my jumps or do my spins, but because I'm prepared to lose. I'm prepared to skate hard then walk away with nothing but a green ribbon saying "Honorable Participant". And I can be happy with that.


How can we take this into writing perspective? Well, we need to be prepared. We don't exactly know what we're up against. We could luck out with our manuscripts, and just happen to send it to the right place, reaching the right person at the right time! And that's awesome! But more often than not, we get a nice rejection letter (if we're lucky).


Writing can be rough and sometimes even ruthless. But we can be tougher than that! We've got to look beyond rejection and see that it's all part of the journey. People will knock us down and honestly not like what we write. But what matters, is that we'll get back up and try again! And sometimes, getting that rejection can make getting published in the future all worth while!


Have a great weekend!


--Jess


P.S.

I updated my 'Poetry' page so it's got all of my recent poems. I also got a few new story ideas, so I'm excited!

Labor Day Vacation!

Hey everyone, I hope you all have a wonderful Labor Day weekend! We are going to Michigan tomorrow afternoon for my great grandpa's 90th birthday. He owns a little old cottage on a lake so we're spending the weekend up there. The one problem is that there's no internet connection so I'll miss checking all of your blogs.

Luckily, I think this will be a nice, needed break from constantly writing all day long. Maybe I'll get some fresh new ideas too! A few days away from your work is supposed to be good anyway. Hope you have a wonderful weekend and I'll try to bring back pictures to share with you guys! See you on Tuesday!


--Jess

Inspiration

Being my first novel, I'm not very experienced at the art of creating one. I've really been writing poetry since who knows how long ago? I tried to write a novel two years ago but when it didn't really work, I just told myself that I'm not a novel writer. Even now, I'll readily admit that I'm not a novel writer. But back then I wasn't even willing to try again, which is silly since I've got so many story ideas swirling around in my head.
As of today, I've got some ridiculously large number of words (something around 130 thousand I think? It's on my Novel Word Count bar) which is a huge accomplishment for me! A lot of my friends and family ask me, "Jessica where do you get your inspiration?" as I continuously spill pages out of my head and onto the computer screen. My usual answer is something boringly simple like "I really don't know," or something along those lines. But a few days ago, I asked myself that question and during an intense writer's block, was finally able to answer it. Well, mostly.
Of course, I do get inspiration from my favorite books and movies, but what I found out was quite unexpected.
It turns out that while I'm writing I like to listen to music. In fact, it is sometimes hard for me to write without it. (Probably because I have such a hard time focusing on things). But the music I listen to is not soft and pretty classical music. I plug in my headphones and blast my favorite bands into my head as I write. Well, when I asked myself 'where do I get my inspiration?', I realized that it's partly from my music. As I listened to the lyrics of my favorite songs, I discovered how well the words fit with my story! Whether I subconsciously processed the words and turned the songs into a crazy conglomeration of a story or picked the songs because I thought they fit with the story, I guess I'll never know.


Anyway, enough about me. Where do you get your inspiration? Please share your thoughts!


--Jess

Chapters

Okay so as of right now I'm on Chapter 54 in my story with around 480 pages double spaced (which is about 240 pages single spaced). Obviously I'll need to do a lot of cutting out for my second draft, but that still leaves me with my 'chapter' problem. So most of my chapters range in between 4-7 pages (single spaced). A few of them are two pages and a few of them are nine. What I'm wondering is if I should combine a few of the short chapters together, or if I should just leave them as they are. Everyone I've asked says they like short chapters, but is 54 chapters (and counting) too much?


--Jess