Wednesday, November 14, 2012

"Thanks." – KOMF #9

For those of who who missed my post yesterday, this month's Knights of MicroFiction prompt is:

In 300 words or less, write a scene where the MC realizes he/she/it is thankful for something. Include the words "turkey" and "mayflower" (this could be May flowers, too, or other creative variations.)

Okay, here's mine:


"You think we're safe here?" My voice echoes through the old, empty sewer tunnels.

Jasyn smiles then tosses a few more sticks into the flames. "They'll never find us here."

I can't help rolling my eyes. "Why are you so sure? They've got guards patrolling the borders."

"They don't check the sewers," he argues. "I was a guard for a few years and they never–"

A clatter sounds a few meters down a tunnel to my right. My hand reaches for the gun in my jacket, but I don't pull it out.

Jasyn grabs a flashlight from his backpack and shines it down the tunnel. A tiny, furry creature stares at us in the darkness, then scampers away.

"See?" he jabs. "Don't be a turkey. We're fine."

"You mean chicken." I run my fingers through my hair, doing my best to gulp down the nausea rising in my throat. "This was a bad idea."

Jasyn scoffs then scoots next to me. "You'd rather have been killed in the Purge? Last I checked, we were both Unsatisfactory. They'd have burned us alive as they do to everyone else who isn't Satisfactory."

Tears well in my eyes. "We're going to die," I whimper.

Jasyn wraps his arms around my shoulders. "Hey," he breathes. "Hey, it's alright. I know we're not so well of right now, but we'll make it out of this."

A soft breeze carries through the tunnel. Bits of dust and garbage float softly toward us. A mayflower stops at our feet. Jasyn picks it up and dusts it off. He lifts it to my face and places it behind my ear.

A choked laugh breaks the frown on my lips and I look up at him. "Thanks," I manage.

He nods then hugs me closer to him. "You're welcome."


Ta da!

Okay, so tell me what you think. It wasn't too cheesy, was it?

Anyway, if you still want to join in on the fun (trust me, we can always use more entries) just sign up on the linky list below. The deadline is 11:59 p.m. on November 15th. It doesn't matter if it's Eastern time or Pacific time… just have it in by 11:59 p.m. YOUR TIME.

Have fun!



Patrick Stahl said...

I like it. I don't feel that it was cheesy. It felt light and almost a bit soothing. However, your use of the two required words felt a little "cheap". Overall, very good for genre flash fiction.

Sally said...

I liked it - I love the mayflower behind the ear. As you can see I've made a mistake and linked a previous entry for 100 words as well. My apologies. The KOMF one is 'Surprise.'

running4him said...

haha that was great! really))

Ashna Banga said...

Great story! You really write well. :)

Heather said...

Not at all too cheesy, I loved it!

Usama said...

A really nice entry. You make it look effortless. :)

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