And then......

Sometimes, I feel like I'm constantly telling.

There might be times when telling is better than
showing... **

We're always taught to show, not tell.  And, having been a self-proclaimed writer for approximately one year now, as well as loving the art my entire life... I should probably have learned my lesson by now.

But of course, I haven't.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be telling you about it.

One way to figure out if I'm starting to tell more than show, is to look for simple verbs that are alone.  Verbs like 'smiled' or 'scowled'.  True, these words show to a certain degree, but they could be expanded upon.  There are many different types of smiles.

How did he/she smile?  Was his face stern at first, yet as the moment sunk in did his lips gently curl into a grin?  Or did her weary eyes meet yours as she shook her head, a pleading smile lifting the corners of her mouth?

See, these are the things I have so much trouble with.

And when you've used 'smiled' alone, exactly 156 times throughout your MS (yeah, that would be me)... it really becomes a telling word.

Another word that usually means you're telling is when you see 'and then'.  Luckily, 'and then' is a phrase I can usually avoid, but I thought I'd bring it up since it's the title of the post.

Do you guys find yourself telling a lot?  Or, at least, do you think you tell a lot?


**Times when telling is better than showing: EXAMPLE:  If you've got a giant cut on your arm, and you're bleeding more than just a little bit, I'd much rather you call and tell me about it from the hospital instead of showing me.  (I get queasy around blood.)


Have a wonderful day!

--Jess

Look, Turn, Walk and Descriptive Language

First, I have to tell you something.  There are three words that are killing me right now.

1. Look
2. Turn
3. Walk

As if finding so many of them in this draft of FTA (From the Ashes) wasn't annoying enough, there aren't many synonyms for each word.  Now that I've cut out a lot of 'look's, I realize I've written 'gaze' too much instead!

Yet sometimes, there are actions that seem to be lacking in words to describe them.  Or sometimes, there are too many.

For example:

Glare is a word that describes a facial expression (or the way light reflects off a surface... but that's not the one we're worrying about.)  A glare is fairly easy for me to describe without actually saying the word:

He grits his teeth in frustration while his eyes hold my gaze with such a burning, angry intensity that...

And then the story would continue from there.  The way he is looking at 'me' is (hopefully) described so that the reader can picture his expression without being bored by an entire paragraph of descriptive language.  Or so that the reader isn't cheated by having to simply read:  He glares at me.

But what if I want to describe the way someone looks when they're concerned?  Or afraid?  Or annoyed?

It seems that I'm using the same words over and over again to describe these looks.  And it sounds something like this:

A look of fear flickers across her face...

Boring.

Describing looks too much or too little is probably one of my fatal flaws.

Do you guys have trouble with descriptive language?  What looks/actions/objects do you have trouble describing?

Have a great weekend!

--Jess

P.S.

Really though, what does someone look like when they're afraid?  This is really bugging me, now.

Repetitious Writing

Today as I was editing my story with my mom, we discovered a few interesting things. There are a few types of sentences I like to use throughout the story, some of them are alright and acceptable, but others... well, they just aren't.


The Good Repetition:
I like to use the reoccurring theme of 'light and dark'. Not light against dark, but the two of them together. This plays a big part in the story which is nice because that sort of thing is easier to weave into descriptive language. Making a lot of descriptive language foreshadowing.


The Bad Repetition:
Now, I'm pretty sure I've got a lot more 'bad' repetition than 'good', but here I go anyway. First, I like to use certain words in every paragraph. This is extremely annoying because I'm finding a useless "that" every few minutes. Here's a list of words 'that' I found at least three times in a single paragraph today:

1. "For a moment"
2. "That"
3. "Stunned"
4. "Just"
5. (and many more!)

I'm not sure if the two of us got overwhelmed this morning with my repetition, but when we hit a sentence including all four of those words we laughed for five minutes straight (I'm not even kidding). First because of how silly the writing sounded and second because the other person's laugh was too funny not to laugh at!

Are there certain words you find yourself using all the time?

And... it's Friday! So have a great weekend!

--Jess

Editing (Part 2)

Okay so I'm not sure how you guys edit your novel (or whatever you're currently working on) but I have a very hard time with changing my work. Now, it's not that I'm attached to what I've written. I can usually spot the things that are wrong in my book, but I'm just unsure on how to fix it!
As I have previously mentioned, I've been having my mom, my younger sister and a close friend read through it and tell me whatever they think might need to be fixed. Of course, we came across a problem. In some of the scenes, my characters looks are inconsistent. Sometimes a girl has brown hair, sometimes it's blond. Some of the characters change between two versions of what I've imagined them to be. To fix this problem, Alyssa (my sister) and my best friend helped me come up with descriptions for each person which was going along pretty well, until they came to a disagreement. The second main boy in the story looks completely different in their minds. The funny thing is, I've imagined the boy in both ways! So not only are they in disagreement, but I'm torn between what he should look like! I know that this really shouldn't be a problem and that I should just make a decision and move on with it... but this is my first novel and I can't help feeling that it has to be perfect.
Of course, I know that it won't be perfect, even in the final draft. I still think it's a good thing to shoot for... don't you?


Have you had any problems that should be an easy fix but you just can't find the solution? 


--Jess