How Do You Find Time? –IWSG Post

Hello friends!

Today I'm participating in Alex Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group, so be sure to check out other posts like it.

Maybe you can tell from the language I'm using to write this post, or maybe not, but I am exhausted. It's 10:30 AM on a Wednesday morning, and I've already taken a psychology class from 8 to 9:15 today. Sure, it's only one college class, but Monday's and Wednesday's are my lazy days.

Tuesday's and Thursday's, that's another story. I'm on campus from 8am to 4pm.

The homework isn't too bad, it's just a ton of reading. I'm enjoying all of my classes, even the math. Though, the math homework is pretty terrifying.

I'm also officially getting hired today!

So while all of these things are great, "how do you find time to write in your busy day?" you ask.

Well…

I've edited four pages over a week.

So…to fully answer your question, I have to say that balancing writing and my new schedule are becoming extremely difficult. Don't worry, I'm not the kind of person to give up something I love just because it's hard. I'm definitely not going to be taking any writing breaks or go on hiatus (though my absences from blogging seem to make it look that way).

One of my biggest weaknesses is time management. Ever since college started, I've been doing a lot better with it, but it's still not good enough. How do I balance class, homework, real work, writing, and still maintain a healthy social life while making sure I eat enough and get enough sleep?

The answer: I don't know.

At least, I haven't figured it out yet.

How do you find time to write in your busy day? (Hopefully you're doing a better job than I am!)

–Jess

IWSG Post… :(

Hi guys. Sorry I'm late posting today, but I've definitely been feeling a bit sorry for myself. It's really stupid and silly, but I've been very insecure.

First and foremost, I finally took my driving test today to get my license aaaaand…I failed.

Literally, I failed both parts of it.

I know it has nothing to do with writing at all, but I've been pretty upset about it since I took the test. Luckily, Ohio law says that I can take it again one week from today, which I'll be doing. So yes.

Anyway, it isn't just the driving stuff that's been making me feel insecure.

My wonderful, amazing editor, Nicole Zoltack is looking at The Inferiors right now. I've already started the publishing process on CreateSpace and they're in the process of creating my book cover, and that's freaking me out just a little bit too.

They created my cover for From the Ashes which turned out really great…

But I've just been incredibly anxious because I'm supposed to get it any day now. I've found myself refreshing my email over and over again like a crazy-clingy obsessive girlfriend (I sort of am though, ask my boyfriend haha).

So yes.

I want the cover to look really good but also have similar features to From the Ashes so that it ties in to the series. And I'm also nervous about getting my final draft done, once my editor sends my manuscript back to me. Oh lordy.

Anyway, that's what I'm insecure about this month.

How about you guys?

Visit other IWSG posts here. Thank you Alex Cavanaugh for hosting this!

–Jess

Insecure Writer's Support Group Day!

Today is the first Wednesday of the month, meaning that it's time for Alex Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group. The purpose is to share insecurities, and encourage other writers who are insecure. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. This is a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

So what am I insecure about this month?

Well, I'm really close to finishing my second novel. It's almost completely edited, I have about 70 pages to go before I'm ready to send it off to my editor.

This novel is the sequel to From the Ashes. It's called The Inferiors. What I'm most worried about is the fact that my writing has changed so much since I published From the Ashes. It's like I'm a completely different writer now, and I don't want to disappoint my readers. What if they don't like the new twists my story takes?

It's changed a lot from the first draft, and of course, I want it to be perfect.

Of course, I'm a realist so I know The Inferiors can't ever be perfect, because there is no such thing! (Unless you're talking about someone you love.)

In the end, the thing I'm really insecure about this month is: how will people react to The Inferiors when it's published?

What are you insecure about this month?

Thanks for visiting today!

MAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU!

–Jess

E is for… (+ IWSG Post)

My A to Z Challenge theme is: characters from my From the Ashes trilogy.

E is for…

The Emperor of the Imperial Alliance

The first Emperor of the Alliance was a war hero who helped unite many of the star systems following The Great Stellar Wars. He came into power in the year 0, according to the ASW (After the Stellar Wars) calendar. His name has been long forgotten, yet the people of the Alliance refer to him as The One True Emperor. The Emperor had a half-brother, Varyn, who was promoted to the commander in chief of the IA forces.

The Legend of The One True Emperor:

The One True Emperor had risen above humanity. His eyes had been opened by the power of Darkness and Light, and in that moment he saw all that ever was and all that could be. In the moment of Darkness, he saw the jealousy of his half-brother. Upon seeing this, The One True Emperor saw to it that Varyn must die. And so it was done. Yet in the moment of Light, The One True Emperor saw all Varyn's life before him, he saw that he should pity him, he saw that Varyn needed love. The One True Emperor's powers transcended the physical world, and he brought Varyn's soul back from what lies beyond.

The rule of Life and Death was broken, the soul of Varyn was not meant to return. It happened that only those who looked for Varyn could see him. He was the shadow of a cheated life, and he became the symbol of Death. His life was owed to The One True Emperor, and so he took the lives of those that opposed His Holiness. Henceforth, he would be known as The Shadow Hunter.

After the Emperor's death, popular culture would say that the soul of The Shadow Hunter would go on to serve every Emperor born of the First Emperor's bloodline. The First Emperor created The Trials and put in place a strong government, and a senate for the people of the IA. He brought upon an era of glory to better the economy, the worlds, and the people. To this day, in the year 327 After the Stellar Wars, his legacy lives on. All hail The Emperor of the Imperial Alliance!

***

As you can see, I kind of wrote this as propaganda for the Imperial Alliance, the oppressive government in the From the Ashes trilogy. This is the history and legend of the Emperor and his legacy across the centuries.

Also, today is IWSG post day, so here we go really quick

I'm honestly super insecure about being able to finish the A to Z Challenge right now. Like…I have some of my posts pre-written, but I have no idea what I'm going to write once it gets to the letter Q, I have not thought that far! No one's name starts with a Q in my story, so I'm seriously going to have to figure this out quickly. That's my biggest insecurity for this month! What's yours?

Favorite A to Z posts of the day:

1. (to be added shortly)
2. (to be added shortly)
3. (to be added shortly)

Thank you all for visiting! Today, I will add to this post my top 3-5 A to Z "E" posts, so don't forget to comment and leave a link to your blog so I can visit you! Don't forget to check out more IWSG posts, other A to Z Challenge Participants, and my new blog which needs some new followers: My Unofficial Guide To Everything.

Have a lovely day!

–Jess

IWSG – I'm Trying

Today is the first Wednesday of the month, meaning today is the Insecure Writer's Support Group day! I have not participated in this in years so I'll try and make sure this post doesn't turn into a novel.

I'm actually a very confident person. I don't always show it, and sometimes my "being humble" can come off as insecurity. I used to be insecure about my looks and that sort of thing, but I think that's normal when you're in your younger teenage years.

At the age of 19, I love myself very much. I'm not being self-centered, or trying to brag, that's just the honest truth. I know I'm not perfect, but I love how I look and who I am. And anyone who doesn't like me for who I am can get out of my life. (There's actually a hell of a lot I had to go through to get to this point, but I feel like that's not really relevant to this particular post.)

Despite all my confidence in myself, that has not yet translated over to my writing. Let me say, I'm not a 'timid' writer. I let all my words come straight from my heart or my soul or wherever words might come from. But when I'm getting ready for publication, my whole story seems to turn into a huge mess. I find myself thinking, "What the hell is this? Who turned my beautiful story into this crazy nonsensical disorder?"

As of yet, I have not found a solution, so…I mean I was going to try and make this post a bit hopeful, but I guess this part isn't haha. Not yet anyway.

The second part of this post is that I'm also a bit insecure about getting back into blogging. It's been so great being able to post here again, and see what everyone has been up to, but as I've mentioned in the past couple posts I wonder if I'm just shouting out into the darkness. Is anyone listening?

What are you insecure about this month?

–Jess

IWSG: I'm Still Here, Reviews, and Doctor Who?

Yes, everyone, I am still here, and hopefully I will be "here" much more often!

I hope the A to Z challenge went wonderfully, and I felt bad that I didn't participate, but ohmygosh did I have tons of stuff to get done. I can't say I have time to be blogging right now, but eh…I'm making the time for it.

So today is IWSG post day!

Right now, I'm really insecure about From the Ashes. I know, I know, I can't control the sales or anything. But when it slows down, it makes me nervous.

The good thing is, all of the reviews I've gotten so far have been really encouraging, and it makes me want to hurry up and get on with the sequel, The Inferiors.

I mean look! It makes me so excited looking at my Amazon page and seeing THIS:

(By the way, if you can't see it tell me because if you can't, then I can see why you may think I'm going crazy. Just click the link if it doesn't show up.)

I mean, a few people here and there have said that it's a little bit too much like The Hunger Games, and I try to pretend like it doesn't bother me. But hey, even the people who have said that still liked the story.

Anyway, yeah, that's all for today, and I think I'm back into blogging again :)

Happy May 1st!

–Jess

P.S.

I've gotten overly obsessed with Doctor Who lately. Hadn't watched the show before a few months ago, and my god, I'm hooked like a fish. Only on Series 3 though.

Do any of you watch Doctor Who?

Everything's Spinning Out of Control!!

Ever feel like no matter how long you work during the day, it's never enough?

Well then, don't worry, you're not alone, I know exactly how you feel right now. I could not be more swamped with life in general. Not that that's a bad thing…if you're not busy then I guess you're not living every moment to the fullest, but damn it can be so stressful!

Anyway, today is the IWSG, and I know I'm really late in posting, but here goes anyway.

I'm really insecure about how my blogfest is going to go on Friday. And I'm insecure about what people will think of my writing.

I know we're not supposed to care what other people think, and you should only write the story you want to write. And I did write the story I wanted to write, but I'm just afraid that other people might not like that story as much as I liked writing it.

It's a silly fear, I know, but a very real one, at that.

Anyway, the Kindle edition of From the Ashes goes live on Friday!

So I'm really excited about that, but it's still really scary. Not only will my book be available to people, it'll be very accessible! That's a great thing, but I'm so scared about it! The more people that read it, the more chances my baby has to be not liked. Or liked, but I'm clearly not afraid of that.

For those of you that have already signed up, I promise, I'm sending the info you need for my blogfest TONIGHT. Some of you have asked for me to send it, and I felt really bad that I hadn't already, but life has just been so pushy lately I haven't gotten to it.

If you'd like to sign up, it's going to be on Friday and you can sign up below.

Rules:

1. Sign up on the linky list below
2. Grab the blogfest button above
3. On Friday, March 8th, tell us about a time when you or your character was thrown into a trial by fire situation. What biggest fears did you or your character have to face? What sort of situation would test you to the fullest?
4. Post the pre-written info I will send you by email with the cover and a few more details about From the Ashes

Thanks so much, you guys, you're awesome!!

–Jess

IWSG: Yes, I'm Very Insecure

Okay.

Here's the dealio.

I'm going to be published sometime in February.

At least that's the plan.

Yet, unlike those of you awesomely amazing people who have landed agents and publishers, I decided that I want to go indie.

Which is cool, because it moves along quite nicely, and I've got tons of input on the final product.

I love my story. If I didn't, I wouldn't have written it.

Yet as a writer in the process of being published, I also long for public approval. I mean, I know everyone isn't going to like my story, and that's alright. I just hope that the number of people who do like it outweigh the people that don't.

What makes me more insecure is the simple fact that I haven't been accepted by a publisher. No one (except for you super nice peeps :) ever said my writing was any good. No editor looked at it and said, "Oh, I like this and I think other people will like it."

The scariest part of going alone is that… well… I'm pretty much alone.

Anyway, I should be getting the first draft of my cover either today, tomorrow or Friday. I'm so nervous about it, and I really hope it's absolutely amazing. But it's been so excruciatingly painful waiting for it!

I even dreamed about it last night. I remember it looked really cool though, so hopefully it was one of those prophetic dreams. I'll be sure to tell you when I get it :)

What are you guys insecure about?

Don't forget to stop by Alex Cavanaugh's site to check out other insecure writers!

Have a nice day!

--Jess

IWSG~ Publishing

Um, yeah.

I'm very insecure about publishing.

Only a few weeks ago, publishing From the Ashes was a dream far off in the distance. Actually reaching it was a silly fantasy I had, not really believing the day would ever come where I'd have to worry about that rough, rocky shore of publishing.

Now that I've considerably closed the distance between me and that "rocky shore," I'm realizing it looks much more difficult to navigate than it did from far off.

Maybe I'd be a little more comfortable if I'd secured a publisher. At least I would feel like I'd been "accepted" by editors, and other people because they liked my story.

See, my mom has read my story like… ten thousand times for me. Okay, not ten thousand but probably around ten times. She's helped me edit it each time, and she always tells me it's really good, and it's getting a lot better and all the stuff a mom has to say. She's very critical, don't get me wrong.

As I'm reading through it one last time (as a reader, not an editor), I haven't found a single gramatical error. And I'm already on page 200.

Now maybe I'm just blind. But I have found a lot of stuff to reword, to make things flow better.

Anyway my biggest insecurity is… what will everyone else think about it?

I know some of you have read through it for me as beta readers and such, but that was the first few drafts.

(Very embarrassing that I actually let you read such a rough draft… I know…)

But what if you don't like the final version? What if no one likes it?

That'd be really awkward.

Anyway, what are you guys insecure about?

--Jess

Un-Insecure

Last week, I realized that I had to take the PSAT on October 17th. So I was freaking out because I had so much to study, and so little time.

I was so nervous, I think the stress was making me sick (literally).

And with so much to study for, I knew I couldn't get as much writing done as I wanted to. It really meant that for the next two weeks, I wouldn't get anything done.

My confidence was low, and my insecurities were high.

Yesterday, all my fears were put to rest, because we figured out that I don't have to take the PSAT until ELEVENTH grade.

PHEW.

Thank the stars.

So now I feel really great because I've got an extra year to study for it! And I think I might participate in Alex Cavanaugh and Ciara Night's Did I Notice Your Book blogfest on the 17th!

Although, I'm not completely "insecure-free". I entered in Deana Barnhart's GUTGAA blogfest. We all had to submit our queries and first 150 words. I'm entry #20 on her site, so if you want to check it out, feel free to comment! (I only have two so far).

Anyway, back to editing before I start my school work.

Happy Wednesday!

--Jess

Insecure Writers Support Group

More and more, I'm insecure about the relationship between blogging and writing.

And, I'm having issues balancing the two.

Some weeks, I can really keep up with my blogging schedule, but others, it's much harder!  Last week, I felt like I'd stayed inside a shell.  The only day I posted was Monday, which is pretty bad for me.

Sure, I got tons of editing done, but I also have a responsibility to you guys!

I can definitely take on the task of doing both.  I think I started this blog sometime in August last year, so if I've been doing it this long, I can surely continue.

I guess my problem is that I don't always know what to post about.

I'm a person with little experience in anything, moreover writing.  What could I possibly have to say that would be of use to all of you?

What would you guys like me to post about?  What do you want to hear?

Happy Wednesday!!

--Jess

P.S.
Sorry I'm posting so late.  I'm in Wisconsin right now, and we had to drive 8 hours today, so I'm exhausted!!

Insecure Writer's Support Group Day!

Yes people, it's the first Wednesday of the month!  You know what that means... (if not, it's IWSG day, started by the awesome Alex J. Cavanaugh :)

So let's see.  What am I insecure about?

I could talk to you about querying, because I am terrible at writing query letters.  Then again, I've already sorta written two posts about that.

What else?

My sequel.

Yeah, sure I already finished The Inferiors (book 2 of my trilogy), but I just started editing it.  And by the stars*, I've got a ton of work to do.  There's so much I need to add.

And, I have no idea how to go about this.

The Inferiors could go one of two ways.  Either my characters will go rescue   (person you can't know about yet)   or they can go find more about the   (thing you'd only know about if you've read it)  .  Currently, I have them rescuing   (person you can't know about yet)  , but by that time, will the reader be fed up about not knowing about the   (thing you'd only know about if you've read it)  ?

It's good to keep the reader wanting more, but will I have them wanting so much they decide to give up on me?

I'm in a big mess.

Luckily, I get out of school on Friday, so I'll have an entire summer to figure this problem out.

So... what are you're insecurities?  Have you guys had the same issue I've had with my sequel?

Happy Wednesday :)

--Jess

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*That's an expression my characters use... lol.

IWSG: Critiquing

First of all, wow.

I can't believe it's already May.  I'm not sure if I should be wishing for more time, or be jumping up and down because summer break is just around the corner.  No, seriously, I made a countdown right

about...

There:  {------------------------------------->

(The arrow only makes sense if this is the top post on my blog.  So for people looking at this in the future... be aware.)

Okay, it took waay longer than it should have to figure out exactly where to point that arrow.  And when summer starts, I will have SOOO much more time to write and get my work done.  I'm extremely excited about that :)

Now, for my IWSG Post.

I'm insecure about critiquing.

Or critique partnering.

Or beta reading.

They're all very similar, but yes, I'm insecure about it.  Don't get me wrong: I'm not insecure about getting feedback or anything like that.  I love getting helpful feedback and having more than just my mom's and my best friend's terribly biased opinion on my work.

I'm insecure about critiquing for other people.

Sure, I've beta read before.  I'm beta reading a book right now, and critiquing two more.  (When did I ever say I wasn't busy?)

Sometimes the story I'm reading is just too darn good!  I mean, there are problems with every book.  No book is perfect.  But there are times when I have a really hard time finding something to fix.

I can't say I've ever gotten insufficient feedback, but there have been a few where I'd liked to have known more about what I could do to fix my story.  And when I give feedback, I want people to to walk away with a bunch of good suggestions and ways to improve their story.  I want to make it easy for them to fix things.

So, when I can't find much to fix, it scares me out of my mind!

What about you guys?  Are you insecure about critiquing/beta reading?

--Jess

D is for Discouraging

D is for Discouraging

Your mind is dry and desolate,

Creativity long since passed,

And everything you write,

Isn’t something that will last.

It annoys you to the core,

Your scene just isn’t right,

Your eyes want to close,

You want to give up the fight.

But do not be destroyed,

In disparity don’t you moan,

We all have insecurities,

No, you are not alone.

***

Okay, maybe the poem is a little cheesy, but I couldn't think of anything to write for 'D' and for the Insecure Writers Support Group post! Anyway, here's a discouraging song (lol) called Destroyed by one of my favorite artists, Within Temptation.

Oh, and here's the A to Z Challenge linky list.

Have a Delightful day!

--Jess

P.S.
Who wants to be my 300th follower?

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Today is the first Wednesday of the month, meaning it's Insecure Writer's Support Group day!

Now, I'm getting sort of insecure about my book. For a long time I've thought about going the traditional publishing route. Sending off queries and searching for publishers... it always sounded kind of fun. Well, maybe not, but still. It was just something I expected myself to do.

But now, with some convincing from my dad and a little thought on my own, I've decided that I might want to try to self publish.

And I'm insecure about self publishing because I don't have a clue about marketing. (That's where my dad comes in, but still.) I mean, if it's something I'm going to do, I should probably know something about it. My dad says it's a good way to learn... from experience. But that doesn't mean it's not scary.

Okay, I guess 'scary' isn't quite the word for it. Still, I think you guys get the picture.

So yeah. I'm insecure about my knowledge of marketing.

What about you guys? What are you insecure about?

--Jess

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Lately, I've found that I'm insecure about a lot of things.

First of all, I signed up for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest, which I'm probably not ready for. Actually, I'm very sure I'm not ready for it. I don't feel like my book is good enough yet. And with all the helpful advice my beta readers gave me, I've still got a long way to go.

Of course, I signed up anyway. Mostly because I know the worst that can happen is that they just won't pick me to go on to the next round. And that's a thousand times better than a bunch of other 'worst things' I can come up with.

Another thing I'm insecure about is the new monthly bloghop, The Knights of MicroFiction, that my mom and I are co-hosting. It's really just a fun way to get to know people and get your creativity flowing through writing short pieces of fiction. But like Alex J. Cavanaugh said in his post today: what if you threw a party and no one attended?

I know it sounds silly but it's a real insecurity that I think most of us have. Because if you make something up, and no one shows, what does that say about you?

To my surprise, a few people (three, to be exact :) ) did participate, and I'd like to thank them so much for supporting us in our first bloghop. I'd also like to thank all of my followers for joining my site! I FINALLY HIT 200!! So, I must be doing something right! You guys rock! And just as a reminder, if you'd like to participate next month in our Knights of MicroFiction, here's the Linky List you can sign up on!

--Jess

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Yesterday, I joined Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group, so I'm pretty excited! The idea is to post on the first Wednesday of every month, so here I go!

Last week, I was feeling down. I was in the dead center of editing the last bit of my story, when the idea hit me: what if all of this work is for nothing?


To me, my writing sounded dead. Page after page, everything I'd written sounded wrong. I started to think, 'my writing isn't like Patrick Carman's or Rick Riordan's, so what does that make me?' and 'am I actually a good writer, or do I just think I am?' To make things worse, I couldn't actually find anything wrong with what I had written. I just felt that somehow, in some way, it wasn't good enough.


I was tempted to open a blank Word Document and write 'hopeless' over and over until the answer finally came to me. (I didn't do that, of course.) I kept reading, but my doubts wouldn't leave me alone. Could all of the precious time and effort I've put into my work be a waste? Could all of this really be worth it?


Luckily, my mom kind of noticed that I was a little frustrated, so she told me to go play my violin for a while and take a break from editing. Playing my violin usually helps me cool down if things go wrong, so I took her advice and played. And I got to thinking.


I'm not writing because I want to be published. I mean, I do want to be published, but that's not really what it's about. It's about me. I'm writing because I love it. And if I wrote like Rick Riordan or Patrick Carman, then what on earth would I have to write about?


Sometimes it's hard for me to recognize my own strengths. When I'm editing, I'm looking for everything wrong with what I'm doing. And that's okay, but it makes it hard to appreciate what I'm doing right.


So, advice?


Take breaks when you need them! And if you write because you love it, then don't let silly doubts make you want to stop!


Have you guys ever felt that way? How do/did you guys overcome?


--Jess