I'm actually a very confident person. I don't always show it, and sometimes my "being humble" can come off as insecurity. I used to be insecure about my looks and that sort of thing, but I think that's normal when you're in your younger teenage years.
At the age of 19, I love myself very much. I'm not being self-centered, or trying to brag, that's just the honest truth. I know I'm not perfect, but I love how I look and who I am. And anyone who doesn't like me for who I am can get out of my life. (There's actually a hell of a lot I had to go through to get to this point, but I feel like that's not really relevant to this particular post.)
Despite all my confidence in myself, that has not yet translated over to my writing. Let me say, I'm not a 'timid' writer. I let all my words come straight from my heart or my soul or wherever words might come from. But when I'm getting ready for publication, my whole story seems to turn into a huge mess. I find myself thinking, "What the hell is this? Who turned my beautiful story into this crazy nonsensical disorder?"
As of yet, I have not found a solution, so…I mean I was going to try and make this post a bit hopeful, but I guess this part isn't haha. Not yet anyway.
The second part of this post is that I'm also a bit insecure about getting back into blogging. It's been so great being able to post here again, and see what everyone has been up to, but as I've mentioned in the past couple posts I wonder if I'm just shouting out into the darkness. Is anyone listening?
What are you insecure about this month?
–Jess
14 comments:
People are listening. Sometimes we can't see them. :) I get the same worry too. That why you have to make sure you're doing it because you're enjoying it. As long as you are, that little nagging voice lessens over time.
Being comfortable in your own skin is huge - congrats on being able to do that, especially at your age. Some of us older folks - ahem! - are still working on that. :)
I'm always a little freaked out when my writing goes public. I think it's just part of being a writer.
If you have confidence in yourself, you are way ahead of where I was at that age. (Or even when I was thirty.)
We all go through it. Just do the best you can and don't let the insecurity stop you.
Jess, I totally understand about wondering if anyone is listening. I have been there myself. Blogging hasn't been one of my favorite ways to spend my time but when I have found those connections, it's really boosted my esteem there. I agree with Alex. You are way further in believing in yourself than I was. I am facing my my big 40 birthday this summer and I think I am just now getting into my groove. Finding a great creative writing partner has helped me tremendously. We laugh about everything and get serious about everything too. In an case, keep believing and writing! Happy Wednesday.
What am I insecure about? Let's count the numbers....but keep looking forward and striding forward. You have too much talent to stop now.
I'm always listening! :) And am so proud of what you've already accomplished!
Susan Kane ~ Thank you!
Mom ~ I love you :)
Blogging is just another form of writing. Let your imagination fly - that's sort of the theme of my post today. Don't worry about what others think - just enjoy the process of being a writer.
I've found that after all the work is done and the decisions made, that's when we have the time and space to question ourselves. You have to trust that the work that went in before was just what it needed to be, and release the work into the world.
I haven't had a book published...yet. ;) But I imagine it's like sending your 'baby' to school for the first time. It's stressful and as parents (or writers) we worry. And if you are at the point that the work is ready for publication...that's an indication that it's pretty good!
I think commenting on blogging is way way down from where it used to be. I wrote a Downton Abbey piece for a pop culture site this week and it's their most popular post, even though there aren't any, or very few comments. I think figuring out what you want to say overall with your blog helps. Kristen Lamb's Warrior Writers blog is really good for helping figure out a focus. Check out her archives.
Here's my IWSG March post: How to Succeed at Twitter Without Really Trying
Hi, I'm here from Alex's blog. Interesting post btw. I've come to believe that writing fiction can drive the most secure person on earth into a desperate, sad state of mind. Good writing is difficult at best. Then add critiques, and other things to the list, well, it becomes daunting rather quickly. Don't beat yourself up. I've never heard of anyone who wrote a perfect first draft. Good writing is about writing, rewriting and writing again. Stick with it. You'll get there.
I imagine finding confidence in your writing comes along after doing it while, much like how you earn confidence in yourself. Keep writing from you heart, and the rest will come!
Do you have critique partners who've read your story? They'll tell you if your story is a mess. It's hard to judge your own work, even if you aren't a timid writer.
As far as the blogging goes, don't worry, they'll always be people who are listening. Just be sure to visit other writers' blogs and leave comments. You'll be surprised how many of them come to visit your blog.
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